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Fleshlight Fantasies

When it comes to sex toys, women are not the only ones treated to a variety of delights. Men have their fair share as well, some to be used solely on them, others to share with a partner. Before I get into the full scope and variety of toys, however, I wanted to talk about one of the most basic male sexual past times: masturbation.

You do it.

We know. Everyone jokes about it, pokes fun, but it is a part of a man’s sexual development, and a natural release. You should enjoy it, and have the opportunity to savour the sensations that you can bring to your body. In that regard, masturbation is no different for a man than it is for a woman. You just have different tools.

Oh my do you have different tools.

Light Up My Life


I came upon the Fleshlight by accident, as my partner and I were looking through different toys that we might want to try for me. It was an interesting concept, but we thought, “How would we even use it?”

Or why, for that matter? If he has all the requisite parts in me that the Fleshlight imitates – sometimes duplicates, but I will get into that in below – then why bother?

That is the question we ask of many sex toys. The simple answer is, because you can. We selected the Sex in a Can Succu Dry for the novelty factor. The mouth looked like vampire teeth, and both of us enjoy the occasional vampire movie. We discovered together just how much fun he could have with the toy, and all the different ways that we could play with one very simple device.

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So what is it? The Fleshlight comes in a variety of shapes and internal textures. The most common are set in a case shaped roughly like a flashlight, though a few varieties, like our Succu Dry, come in a can-shaped case. The soft material inside is made of – well actually, that is a trade secret for the company. The Fleshlight is made of a very soft, pliable, plastic-like (no phthalates, by the way) material designed to feel like skin and offer both a smooth experience and the natural “pull” sensation that skin-on-skin contact can have. The cases are adjustable, so that you can have a little suction, or a lot.

Variety is the Spice of Life-like

Fleshlights offer men a skin-like sensation and different textures. They come in three basic types – oral, vaginal, and anal lights. The outside is designed to look and feel like the orifice it is patterned after. Inside, you will find textures to match the orifice, so that the sensation of masturbation feels as real as you can get outside of, well, the real thing.

Even better – Fleshlight features a line of toys designed after real models and porn stars. Therefore, if your partner has a fantasy of being with Christy Mack or Jenna Jameson, now you can help him fulfil it, inside your marriage and without annoying bodyguards getting in the way. Some of the devices in the line are crafted to closely match the models that inspired them, like Christy Mack’s Lotus and Forbidden (you guessed it, vagina and ass respectively). Others, like Jenna Jameson’s Lotus Vagina add texture and flare, turning masturbation into a completely new exploration.

The mouth-design Fleshlights take oral pleasures to new levels. Each features texturing to add something unique to the sucking pleasure of the tube. Most are ribbed, providing a massaging sensation as you thrust. The Succu Dry is unique among the mouth-designed Fleshlights, with its inner “teeth” that massage and tickle along the shaft of the penis as you move in and out.


Just like any sexy toy, the Fleshlight gives you lots of options to play and enjoy, alone or with a partner. How you want to play – well, that depends on your mood and what you want from your toy and your time.

Alone Time

The Fleshlight is designed to give masturbation a completely new meaning. The soft design of the toy turns a simple, lone activity into a moment of pleasure. Enjoy fantasizing about the star that your Fleshlight is modelled after, a special someone if they are far away that night – or even both. Why not? That is what fantasies are for, and this toy makes them a little more vibrant. Adjust the bottom for more or less suction and enjoy with very little mess. Everything stays in the can; you just rinse and wash when you are done.

The beauty of the Fleshlight is that it can be used anywhere. Use it in bed, or in the shower. Some varieties even include a suction cup, so you can mount it to the shower wall and enjoy. For added pleasure, insert a vibrating bullet into the case, between the casing and the fleshy sleeve. Fleshlight makes vibrating bullets specifically for the toy. Just make sure that the bullet you choose is small enough to insert into the case comfortably and, if you are planning on shower use, waterproof.

Pairing Up

If you want something a little fun and adventurous in your intimate time, the Fleshlight will be happy to oblige. Do you enjoy giving your partner oral pleasure, but find deep throating or swallowing difficult? Pick a starlet and share your man. Get him started by orally pleasing him while you let the Fleshlight warm up. When you are ready, gently switch out and watch his pleasure as he moves from your mouth to the ribs and textures of your toy. It is a wonderful way to keep your intimate act close and pleasurable.

The Fleshlight can be used as part of any of your foreplay activities. If you enjoy a little bedroom role-play with your partner, you can walk him through an encounter with his Fleshlight, and into your loving arms after. Use it to get him ready, or give him his first orgasm of the evening, which will help him last longer for you.

Just as with solo play, enjoy experimenting with vibrating bullets in the Fleshlight for couple play as well. The vibrations can make his orgasms just as intense as yours, and deepen your intimate moments together.

Why Not Add Some Kink?

If you and your partner enjoy kinky play, the Fleshlight can really add some spark and sizzle. Blindfold your partner and tease him with the Fleshlight, alternating between it and you. Choose two or three Fleshlights, giving him different textures with each one. Allow him to enjoy each one in turn, and make him guess which is which. You can reward or punish according to his answers, and your shared kinks.

If you have a sadistic side, the Fleshlight can be surprisingly delightful. I will admit to having a little bit of a streak in me from time to time. I have a favourite way to bring my partner off with the Fleshlight – if he has let me bind him to the bed, all the better. I know he is extremely sensitive right after coming, and I use the Fleshlight and that fact to a wicked advantage. I will play, twisting and pumping the smooth, soft Fleshlight over him until he is ready. I loosen the suction just a little as he is coming, then twist it down tight, and pull, firmly but gently. The result is overstimulation with a little of the good pain that always elicits a cry out.

Experiment with your partner to see how he responds to the Fleshlight you choose. Play gently after his orgasm, tightening, watching, and listening for his responses. After a little practice, you will find that right balance that brings him through his pleasure with intense feelings that will have him ready to be on his knees. Just like with any kinky play, listen for your partner’s signals, do not push him past his limits, and play safe. There is no joy in bad pain.


The Fleshlight does require a little preparation and care in order to use enjoyably and stay usable for years.

  • Before using it, warm the Fleshlight in water. You can always keep a bowl of warm water if you are playing together, and a towel to control the mess as you move the sleeve from the water to the case.
  • Use water-based lubricants only, and make sure they state on the package that they are safe for sex toys. When you purchase your Fleshlight, you can always get a tube of their lubricant as well.
  • Keep your toy clean. Always clean it thoroughly after use. You can use Fleshlight’s cleaner, or any sex-toy safe antibacterial cleaner. Do not use anything abrasive on it, and make sure that you allow it to dry thoroughly before storing it. You can use Fleshlight’s Renewing Powder or cornstarch when storing it to keep it feeling soft. Do not use talcum or baby powder.
  • You do not need to use a condom with the Fleshlight as long as you are not sharing it with another non-monogamous male partner. If you are, then condoms are best.
  • If you go from real anal sex to the Fleshlight, it is best to clean first before going in. Treat the Fleshlight like another door. You do not want to take the chance that anal bacterial can be caught in ridges or imperfections.

Experiment with the Fleshlight, alone or together. Enjoy it with a favourite video or as part of sexy phone or IM time with your partner. And as always, have fun.