My name is Kandice and I probably have one of the best jobs in the world. I’m a full-time blogger and sex toy reviewer!
Now, you may not think much to my credentials – after all, anyone with a suitably selective vagina could do what I do, right? Wrong!
My job involves a whole lot more than simply ‘having fun’ and indulging myself. I’m here to not only provide tantalising, no-nonsense (and sometimes downright explicit) reviews, but also to hopefully help remove the stigma that is sometimes attached to the idea of masturbation and sex toys in general.
There are several misconceptions flying around about sex toys. Some think they are a ‘novelty item’, or that they are only for lonely women who are having trouble getting the ‘real thing’. Or, sometimes people believe the opposite – that sex toys are a last resort at restoring some passion in a struggling relationship. I’ve even had people make comments to me suggesting that sex toys are a fashion statement; something that women buy to fit in with a fad, or (even worse) as kneejerk reaction to a midlife crisis.
Nothing could be further from the truth, and I feel that every one of these myths needs debunking. Quickly.
Masturbation feels good. There, I said it. There’s no point beating around the bush, or trying to deny this simple fact. We shouldn’t be ashamed of giving our bodies some TLC, nor should we be embarrassed about talking about it.
But I understand that not everybody is as comfortable with this topic as I am. So that’s why I’m here to give honest accounts of my experiences, and hopefully provide you all with enough information for you to make your own, informed decisions about what products you might want to try.
I’ll be reviewing everything from dildos to vibrators, from butt plugs to the latest sexy gadgets – all without shame and completely candidly. I firmly believe that all people should not only have access to safe, quality sex-toys, but also to supporting information, in order to help people to make a fully informed choice about what they are going to buy.
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While this journey is certainly going to be a whole lot of fun for me *smiles wistfully* it is more important to remember that these reviews are for my readers. Call this a no-holds-barred approach to breaching the subject of self-pleasure, and providing useful and above all insightful thoughts and opinions along the way.
A Lover’s Guide to Sex Toys
Have you ever worn lingerie to help liven the mood for sex? Did you select a particular brand of condom to help give her more pleasure? Is your favorite lube one that provides additional sensation during sex?
We all have particular images in our minds of sex toys – whips, finger vibrators, dildos, masturbation sleeves, and sex dolls. What we seldom realize, however, is that even if we have never touched these items, if we can answer yes to any of the above questions, we have used sex toys.
More than just masturbation tools and kink gear, sex toys are a way to help us explore our bodies, enhance our sex lives, and deepen intimacy with our partners. They are as varied as the people who use them and with such a wide selection available, choosing the right toy to begin exploring beyond lingerie and condoms can be overwhelming. Fortunately, a few simple considerations and a little knowledge will help you focus so that you can select quality sex toys and know the best ways to use and care for them.
Why Sex Toys?
Before we talk about selecting and caring for sex toys … why do we even use them?
Archeologists have discovered recently smooth siltstone tools dating back to about 10,000 years ago. The shape of these tools are unmistakable; they are perhaps the first dildos in human history. While we do not know if their purpose was purely for pleasure, as part of a religious observance, or both, it is clear from the careful craftsmanship that these tools were important.
We may not know why ancient man – or woman – used the siltstone sex toys, the motives of modern humans are clear. We want pleasure. Modern sex toys are designed to provide pleasure, with shapes to help stimulate sensitive parts of our body and vibrations to intensify orgasms. Some enhance our experience by capturing our senses and inviting us to use our imagination – feather ticklers, facemasks, sexy roleplay costumes, and couples’ sex games.
Whether we seek personal pleasure or something to share with our partner, exploring sex toys allows us to understand pleasure in a new and deeper way. They invite us to explore our boundaries, together or with a partner, and open ourselves to new experiences.
Choosing the Best Sex Toy
Deciding where to begin in exploring sex toys can be tricky. When you shop online or in your local adult novelty store, you will find a wide selection of items for men and women. Some can seem intimidating. Others may leave you shaking your head, wondering its purpose. As you consider buying your first sex toy, consider a few simple things to help you navigate the selection available to you.
What do you want from your sex toy?
The first thing you need to decide is what you want from your sex toy. Are you looking for something to travel with and use in a hotel? Do you need something quiet and discreet, where you can duck away into a private bathroom to “ease stress”? Are you looking for a sex toy you and your partner can use together, to help you explore sexual intimacy?
All sex toys can provide us immense pleasure, but not all sex toys are equal in all situations. A finger vibe is perfect for travel and couples can use them to enhance stimulation during foreplay and intercourse. A Magic Wand is a nice toy for relaxing alone. For couples wanting to explore kink, an under-bed restraint system is an easy and safe way to explore bondage and a soft faux-leather flogger can provide both pleasure and pain as you desire.
As you consider what you want from a sex toy, prioritize what is most important.
Realistic Sex Toys
Some want a realistic flair in their sex toys. For men, Fleshlights provide realistic sensations in a discreet tube. The flesh-like masturbation sleeve features ribbing and other textures and varieties are also modelled after famous adult film stars. For those who want to up the ante on realism, silicone sex dolls provide pleasure and beauty. For women, realistic dildos provide pleasure and stir the imagination (the diligent woman can also find male silicone sex dolls as well).
The primary role of a sex toy is to provide stimulation. Some do this with intensity. Rabbit Dildos feature vibrating or pulsating shafts with vibrating appendages and are popular among women. Men who are open to exploring different kinds of pleasure will enjoy what a prostate massager has to offer – an intense orgasm much like a G-spot orgasm in its sensations.
Sex toys can serve other purposes than just pleasure. Love Eggs and Yoni Eggs can help women develop and strengthen their Kegel muscles. These muscles help enhance sexual pleasure. For women who are planning for pregnancy, strong Kegels can make labor and recovery from childbirth easier as well. Men often use penis pumps to help enhance their size and girth, either cosmetically or under the direction of a physician to assist with sexual health issues. For men who have difficulty maintaining an erection or lasting through intercourse, cock rings are a simple but effective aid.
Sex toys can enhance your intimate time with your partner. Vibrating cock rings provide additional stimulation during sexual intercourse. Finger vibes can enhance foreplay for both partners. Sex board games and love dice are a fun and sexy way to open yourself up to new experiences with your partner.
With the popularity of certain books and movies, more couples are beginning to explore kink together. Whether you want to try your hand at bondage and impact play or play with other sensations that explore pleasure and pain, the world of kink has a lot to offer. Kink requires trust between partners and exploring these sometimes dark desires can help deepen our emotional connection. For those just beginning to explore, under-bed restraints are a simple way to master bondage. Floggers and riding crops are easy to use and can provide sensual pleasure or deliver sharp pain. Low-temp drip candles provide a “gentler” way to explore pain and pleasure and work well with bondage.
Choosing and Caring for Your Sex Toys
It is important as you explore sex toys that you choose ones that are high quality. You should make an investment in these items. You will use them on delicate parts of your body and entrust your partner to them. You should also care for them to ensure they last.
- Make sure your sex toys are body-safe. Silicone is best, but other materials are good as well. Borosilicate glass resists cracking and makes for excellent dildos. Rubber and plastics are fine as well, as long as they are free of phthalates, which can have negative impact on your health.
- Bondage and impact toys should be well made. Straps for bondage gear should have tight stitching and be made of durable materials. Cuffs should be broad and include soft lining and cushioning for comfort. Riding crops and floggers should be well-crafted so that they do not fall apart during use.
- Choose lubricants that are safe for your specific sex toys. Avoid silicone-based lubes for silicone toys. While each manufacturer will have a preferred type of lubricant, generally water-based lubes are safe for most sex toys. When using them, make sure to apply plenty of lube (especially for anal toys) and keep extra lube on hand at all times.
- Keep your sex toys clean. You should always clean toys after use with sex-toy safe cleansers. Do not use hand soap, dish soap, or household cleansers, as these can damage delicate materials.
- Allow sex toys to dry thoroughly and store them safely. Anal toys should always be stored separately from other sex toys. Flesh-like sex toys, such as Fleshlights, should be stored with a light sprinkling of refreshing powder or cornstarch. Do not use talc or baby powder on your sex toys.
- Do not mix intimate locations or share sex toys. Vaginal sex toys should only be used vaginally and anal toys should only be used anally. If you do wish to share a sex toy, always use a condom with the toy. This protects you from STIs and other infections as well (such as yeast infections).